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A Boulder on Your Shoulder?

Last week I stopped to watch a Facebook video featuring two young adults and their dating life. Not my typical time filler, but this story was special. These two love birds (John and Marissa) were showcased on March 21st, a day to celebrate Down Syndrome. They shared with the camera why they like each other and what they do on dates, what love is to them and their love for dancing. What struck me most was their simple joy. They didn’t worry about when they would see each other next, or feel self conscious about getting out on the dance floor. They lived in the moment and just beamed with joy to see and be around each other. And they made the most of each opportunity..

Their story is a good reminder about freeing ourselves of the weight of life’s burdens. What we pile on with busy schedules, the unknown future, the regrets of the past and the weight of other people’s emotional baggage.

In their classic book “Boundaries”, authors Cloud and Townsend contrast the difference between carrying your knapsack and carrying a boulder: A knapsack is comparable to your “daily toil”. Each day will have its obstacles, but these are ones you can bear, ones you can carry and not be overburdened.

The boulder on the other hand is a very large object that will crush you if you try to carry it yourself. This huge stone was meant to be carried by a small group of people for a limited amount of time (think of a crisis or tragedy in life).

Although each of us will face these in differing degrees, it is the act of carrying a daily boulder that crushes us. Symptoms of carrying too much starts with the decline in our humor and spontaneity. We become stressed, serious, and find difficulty laughing. Instead of taking care of ourselves, we push ourselves to take even more care of others.

Cynical and exhausted we leave very little room for repair and refreshment. When you’ve reached this point, pressing onward and gutting it out doesn’t work anymore.

You have to step back and say “I need a break.”

If you find yourself raising your hand, saying “Yep, that’s me!” Let me give you hope. Things can change. But you will have to act to dam the rushing flow of requests and demands.

When you’ve reached your limit, try these ideas to drop your boulder and trade it back for a knapsack:

– The next time someone asks you to volunteer, show up to help or do something for them, say No. Take a deep breath and wait. You might feel guilty at first, but the boundary you set will be well worth it in the long run.

– Schedule half a day away for yourself. No appointments, no parties, no errands. Just time to do something for you! Make this an appointment that you cannot break.

– Surround yourself in an environment that refreshes. Go outside…take a walk in nature…drive out to the beach… get in the mountains.

– Turn off the phone. Stop the inflow and just let it be.

– Take a nap. Sometimes we just need rest! Not caffeine, not chocolate, not junk food. Just rest. And when we’ve rested, those cravings for the “bad things” will subside.

As a business owner, I have found that I have to make this a priority. If I don’t purposefully set boundaries on my time, the week will get away from me and my family suffers. I take periodic breaks away to rest and decompress. I encourage you to do the same!

Keep moving,
Priscilla

Note: As a fitness coach, it is my highest priority to keep my clients motivated and on track despite obstacles, chutes, distractions and just human nature. We all need a supportive environment to maintain healthy lifestyle and habits. If you are searching for that kind of environment, check out what we do here at CrossFit 1088: Hosted by Blue Wave Fit, where our mission is to bring CrossFit to All Ages. http://www.bluewavefitocala.com
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